” The woman glanced at Cheryl walking toward them. “I didn’t know that.”“Everything okay?” “Think so, Cheryl. The lady didn’t realise it was naturist.”“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make a fuss,” the woman said, dusting specks of sand off her generous tummy. “But it was a bit of a shock. I heard you talking but I didn’t expect to see… well, see you without clothes. Nice tans, by the way.”Cheryl smiled. “Thanks. As you can tell, we enjoy being as naked as nature intended. I suppose we should have thought before stripping. I mean, you are wearing a swimsuit.”“Oh no, it’s not your fault, is it? You obviously come here a lot, I’m the one in the wrong place.” She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Look, I… no, forget it… I really shouldn’t ask. Sorry.”She crouched again and popped the sunscreen and a water bottle into a backpack.“What do you mean, 'forget it'?” said Brian. “Forget what?”She stopped packing and glanced from the hand still politely placed over his crotch up to his pale. I could never have stood up during our concerts and said what I did if I let him control me. He’d have wanted me to be careful—to choose my words more carefully. Not to rock the boat too much. He’d have said I needed to protect our admission to the National School. He’d have been careful not to offend anyone that could make things harder for me. It’s understandable. It’s what we call learning from experience as we get older. Identifying situations that could be harmful and avoiding them. He was standing in the way of me living in this world. So, I killed him.”“Are you okay, Jacob? That ... How could you... ?”“Rachel, he wanted to stay outside the house and let Peyton die alone while we waited for people who knew what they were doing. I had to fight him all the way in to her. It was hard enough to fight the terror of this body squeezing through and into spaces I knew I couldn’t back out of. I couldn’t continue to live this life with his hanging over my head.”“My poor baby,” she said.
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